Getting Real Part II and Recommitting to Life

Ok guys, so I know how bold, bravely bold I speak in these words and how sensitive some of you are! Please don't think I am talking to all of you, or maybe even any of you who do read this. Yes, there have been many who have tried to seduce me into being your significant partner over the course of these last years, however, I have enough balls, guts and boundaries to keep the limits where they need to be. And, for those of you who we do have a strong compatibility and connection, you know who you are. You don't need to automatically come to the assumption that I'm talking to you when you know the love is there. If it's there, it's there. If it's not, it's not. It's pretty simple and you know who you are, and my heart will forever be with you.

So, please forgive me if I have ever done anything to upset you, take you off guard, make you feel unloved, invisible, awkward, or thrown your hands up. I don't mean to do anything to you. You are all very important beings going through your own process, your own journey, and yes I know you need me sometimes. And, sometimes I need someone too!

During these times after I take a MAJORLY powerful training, or do a therapy session of my own, or go through a MAJOR change in my life, or take on a new Certification Training... I am going through a HUGE process of (what my son's daddy likes to say) recapitulation period! I call it a transition, real transformation, a processing stage or integration phase. It is that period of time after having done something extraordinary, something that blew your mind, something that totally shocked your system into collapse, and a time where you need to put aside everything you were doing and just come back to yourself, rest, slow down, think things through, talk them out and reorganize your life! And, my friends, this is what is happening as we speak!

So, please forgive me for the sudden bolts of expression that may sometimes throw you into a Wow, where did that come from!? Yup, it's all those amazing trainings! And, I say, they are what needs to be done! And, they sometimes open up a can of worms, so its a settling down and letting those heeby jeabies, those slimy thought patterns come down to a place of stillness. A meditation of sorts to realign who you are, and come out to be someone EVER GREATER than before! And someone who came from a background of destruction, chaos, disarray and abuse I know all to well the importance of looking at oneself and doing the work it takes to go down the rabbit hole and climb out a better person! I was never one to take medication, ever, as I know that many who have usually spend their entire lives taking them, and never change much of who they are; unless they have the courage to do some major psychotherapy or transformation work, but few do it to the point of being able to get off the meds. They only "UP" the dosage! In my opinion, that sucks, and I know too many people I LOVE who live that way. I took the challenging path, but the path that actually creates real changes, and thus I took the Forum again! The last time being about my mom, totally forgiving her, letting her into my life and my heart again, where we now have an AMAZING relationship! This time, about my dad, to create order, organization, structure and success in my life - to forgive him for never being there, to no longer be jealous of other women who DO and always have had amazing relationships with their dads - to no longer need to be taken care of, but instead to fully take care of myself! That is a huge intention and as I integrate and see the results, I WILL be a walking miracle, yet one more time! AND, this is why I need to write my story! And, I will! But, I am still doing this work. I will not stop. Now, it is time to create a schedule for my day, my life, and plan so that my life doesn't pass before my eyes, but instead so that "I" truly create a life that "I" want to live!

Right now I am resting, but I am here. If you want to do something relaxing, loving, nurturing and healing, I would love to hear from you!