The new year is still fresh and for the richness of this sharing, I offer you a new place of power and enlightenment of what was, and what is now aware to me, and the future I am moving into!The past few months have been a deep time of personal healing for me, and I apologize I did not share with you my depth of growth and what has come out of this time, but as I write here now, I humbly offer you my love and apologize for perhaps not being a shining light for you in helping support you in yours!
As you all know, my Beloved friend Rama is now gone! This brought up a lot for me. I hadn't lost someone who was that close to me since I was a young child. It was a big deal to me for one very powerful reason in particular. He was a very positive support system in my life; period, and his love was more powerful than I had realized. All my life, I had to be the Warrior and overcome a HUGE load of abuse. I had to parent myself, find other parents to perhaps love me, and do the best I could to leave an abusive home environment, when at all possible. I stayed away, lived my own life, stayed after school, befriended my teachers, tutors or other parents of my friends in order to receive the parental love I truly needed. In the end, I had to parent myself. It has been close to 17 years since I began my own healing journey, which I started VERY young because I KNEW I had to.
In the Landmark Education program I came to peace with how my parents raised me and accepted that they knew no other way. I decided to forgive them and chose to be the Leader in my family's Healing, and bring love and joy whenever family functions occurred. I knew their way of parenting was what they were taught and was also something I have been committed to transform and create a new way of being in relationship with children.
I have healed what most don't get to heal in one lifetime, and know from experience anything can be healed. However, it DOES take work and commitment, and what I like to term as DETERMINATION! However, since I am still human and in a human body, there is still more work to be done. When there are times of absence, it is my body/and spirit's way of working on another layer. And, as I strive for perfection, I know that I already am perfect, and perfection is in the eye of the beholder!
I know I have so much to offer and so much to share how one little person can make a HUGE difference in other people's lives! I believe I am here to be of service to humanity and my greatest offering is to teach love; in giving and in receiving and to teach forgiveness, and what it means to open your heart, even to the people who hurt you the most!
Perhaps I am still healing some remainder of Child Abuse, and if I am not here for you in the way you want me to be, I am truly sorry. I will always come back to my passionate firey self, as this is a big part of who I am, and move into that joyous and playful state!
As I share my own growth, I know I get to be who it is I really love; me!
I love you all, and invite your emails, calls and messages!
Blessings,
Asttarte
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