Women are like flowers. They need to be touched with gentleness and love. However, before the approach of taking on pleasuring a woman, you must first do several of these things:
- Make sure you're asking her at the right time. Be sure she is not undergoing a lot of stress, and if so, support her if she lets you. Be a listening ear, or a shoulder to cry on.
- Once she is feeling at her relaxed state, request to give her a massage
- Ask her permission to touch her in every place you want to touch. She will appreciate your asking and this will help her to feel loved, respected and valued as a woman.
- Be sure to maintain a conscious connection of love through eye gazing and tantric breathing practices. If you have difficulty looking into her eyes, practice beforehand by looking into your own eyes in the mirror. Spend at least 15 minutes to 30 minutes practicing this beforehand. Once you feel more comfortable, pleasure her with your glance and love through your eyes. If tantric breathing practices is a new term for you, do some google searching or seek out a good book, video or your favorite tantric practitioner to help you.
- Allow her to communicate her needs and desires.
- Be willing to listen to her, and really be present to her speaking and to your listening. Really be interested in what she has to say, otherwise, she will feel your distraction and disinterest and you may not get any further than asking to touch her. She might just say no.
Once she agrees, start to massage her from the feet up. Don't touch her anywhere in private sacred areas. Massage her hands and arms with a very gentle pressure and then ask if she would like the pressure deeper. Massage her with long deep strokes on long muscles; such as the legs, arms, and back. Massage her back like you would a baby at first, and then give her all your passion and love through your touch.
Don't ever expect to have sex with her, or that you are going to be able to touch her in her special sexual areas. You must go into this practice without expectations that anything sexual is ever going to happen. A woman needs to know she is loved. She needs to feel safe, respected and honored before she can open up to you. Some women already feel a strong opening to their partner, but it is rare that they'll want to dive right in, and most women need the extended fore-play, cuddling, nurturing and massage practices before going any further in the bedroom.
If you are intoxicated, or stressed, or frantic about something other than your being loving to this woman, do not try to pursue pleasuring her. You'll need to take care of your own stresses first. If you are not on a spiritual path, or doing anything to relax your nerves, you might want to seek out ways of doing so.
And, as a grand finale, once she has been given the love she has been waiting for, the respect and admiration she deserves, and the honoring or her needs and desires, she will give you everything you've ever wanted in the bedroom and SOOO much more! It will be like falling in love again, and she'll ravage you and pleasure your every desire just like she did when you were first dating!
See also at http://hubpages.com/hub/Sex_IntimacyCoaching